How To: Destroy a Motorbike in 1 Super Easy Step

This method is even easier, requiring fewer steps, than say forgetting to pour oil into a bike’s engine after you’ve drained it. Hey I’ve seen it happen!

Something I see far more often are bikes that sit for extended periods of time. If it’s only a few years, or some steps have been taken to store the bike, then they can usually be put back into serviceable condition with some time and work AKA and let’s not beat around the bush: money.

It’s often worth it because if a bike is only worth $500 not running but $2000+ running, and it’s only going to cost ~$500 to get it there, then that’s a no-brainer, a killer deal, a mortal lock; like you’d have to be dumb, or short a whopping $500, to not take that deal.

The equation gets dicier as repair costs increase and bike values fall. Some bikes just aren’t worth very much regardless of what condition they’re in, and it’s often not worth it to fix them unless there’s some sentimental value attached to the machine in question.

So how do you destroy a motorbike in “1 easy step”? All you have to do is let it sit, like this BMW sat since approximately the year 2001, the second year of the 3rd millennium, when it was purchased brand new. The new owner then put 103 miles on it and kept the registration current until the 8th year of the 3rd and current millennium.

Why am I writing like this? Why do I do anything? Because I think it’s fun, that’s why. Are you having fun? Good. Keep reading.

This bike was part of an estate, and I was called in to assess its value and determine whether or not it was potentially worth it to put it back into service as a running, riding motorcycle. It’s a 2001 BMW R1150GS and from a layman’s perspective looks like a gold mine. I mean, how many of these are out there with barely over 100 miles on the clock? How bad could it be? After all, it’s just a motorcycle. After one look inside the fuel tank, as it turns out, pretty darn bad.

At minimum, to bring this bike back to life, it would need: all new fluids, new tires, fuel lines, fuel pump, fuel injectors replaced or cleaned, and the kicker: either the stock tank needs to be cleaned using gallons on gallons of *ACID* OR more likely a new, exact match, 0-miles tank directly from BMW.

Nobody really restores fuel tanks from the inside out here locally. Believe me, I’ve tried to find someone with the kind of space necessary for this kind of thing. It doesn’t exist in the state, at least not that I know of. The last customer who needed their fuel tank restored and didn’t want to shell out for a new one flew the freaking thing to Italy where he had a friend who uses a product only available in the EU to restore fuel tank interiors without destroying their exterior finishes. And that was a tank small enough to cart across the world in a carry-on bag. Restoring the tank that’s on the bike just isn’t a good option in this case. And if anyone knows of someone locally who can restore a motorcycle fuel tank WITHOUT destroying the outside, please CALL ME EMAIL ME LET ME KNOW SOMEHOW. I have lots of work for them!

The big questions though are how much would all of that cost and how much would the bike be worth after it’s back on the road, assuming everything goes smoothly and there aren’t any surprises, which are bold assumptions with respect to repairing a motorbike that’s sat for not one winter, not 5 winters, but close to 25 winters. Surprises are unfortunately about guaranteed with a project like this.

Let’s ballpark it. New fuel tanks are available from BMW, but phone calls would have to be made to find out if an exact match tank is available. Assuming yes, the tank itself is ~$2500 + tax/ship, so call it $2850. Now it needs a fuel pump at ~$1000. Fuel lines, injectors cleaned? Call that another $500. Plus all new fluids and tires, call that $1500. Add that up and it’s ~$6000 in parts. What’s the labor? It’s another $1500 AT LEAST.

What might the bike sell for once it’s restored? IDK I can go buy a nice one that already works with like 10,000 miles on it for less than $5000, and these bikes are known for going 100,000+ miles before anything major happens to them. Convincing someone to give $7500+ for this “100-miles” ‘pristine’ example could be challenging; convincing them to give more than that and make the deal profitable for the seller seems like it would be nigh on impossible when there are plenty of great, low-miles, 20+ year old BMW GS bikes on marketplace for around $5000. At the end of the day, the bike is worth whatever someone’s willing to pay for it.

In my expert opinion, the most profitable thing for the current owners to do, who got the bike in an estate, is to list it “as is” on either IconicMotorbikes.com or BringATrailer.com as a “no reserve” auction and do some real price discovery, which begs the question: what kind of buyer wants a bike like this one in “as is” condition?

A potential buyer is 100% going to be a hardcore BMW enthusiast who is into this generation of GS type bike. It could also be a BMW dealer with the parts on hand to make the bike good again without spending any more money than they already have. The idea would be to list it as a no reserve auction on a popular site and see what happens. Maybe it goes for $1000. Maybe it goes for $3000 or more.

Nobody knows what it’ll go for until it freaking sells. If I’m being honest (to a fault!) I kinda hate all of the hemming, hawing, and outright speculation that comes with trying to put a price on anything. What’s Nvidia stock going to be worth 2 years from now? We can speculate about that all day long. We can even bet on it by buying the equity or options. We can even be really sure and place a big bet, but the fact is NOBODY KNOWS WHAT ANYTHING’S WORTH UNTIL IT SELLS. To know what NVDA’s going to be worth in 2 years, the only option is to wait 2 years.

The cool thing about this or any bike is we don’t have to wait 2 years to figure out how much it’s worth. The bike can be listed, and then we can find out. I wish the current owners good luck with the sale, and I hope someone out there gets a good deal on a really cool bike they have the means to put back on the road again.

All of this begs a big question: how does this happen in the first place? Look, I don’t judge, or at least I try my very best not to judge. There are so many things that can happen that lead to this. Nobody does this on purpose. Maybe motorcycling wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, but the owner for whatever reason couldn’t part with the bike. Maybe life got away from the owner, and they simply couldn’t find the time to ride it with kids in college, kids having their own families etc. Maybe the owner liked LOOKING AT IT MORE THAN RIDING IT and didn’t know how to store it, didn’t care to find out either because it was their freaking bike, and they get to do whatever they want with it. So many things. I could go on, but I’m not going to because that’s enough of that.

Thanks so much for reading and remember: RIDE YOUR MOTOS!!! They like it, you like it, use ’em or lose ’em is the name of the game here!