EDIT: Responding to, in Conversation with Myself; Then vs. Now; Nov 22 ’21 vs. Feb 19 ’22

The stuff in quotes I wrote on November 22, 2021. I’m responding to myself a few months later in this post. The responses were written on February 19, 2022. I’ve been sober since January 22, 2022 after drinking more than my fair share of alcohol for about 20 years. If anyone needs help with alcohol or addiction and wants to talk to someone, please reach out to me at (720) 634-6935 or (719) 425-5515 or moto2n.colorado@gmail.com. I don’t have all the answers, but you’re not alone and maybe hearing me talk about my experiences will help you? Who knows, it’s worth a shot!

Doing this the way I’ve been doing it for the past 5 years has taken a toll on my passion for motorcycles.

Uh huh. You did well for 3 years and then decided to go down the alcoholic rabbit hole HARD during 2020 and 2021. You made your life unmanageable by drinking your face off whenever you had a chance, which was often. Your passion for motorcycles didn’t go anywhere! You’re more stoked on them than you’ve ever been, and you’ve only been sober for a whopping 28 days.

I no longer enjoy them as much as I used to. I think subjecting things I love to market forces, having to put a price on them every day, devalues them in my mind. Maybe the only real things worth loving in this world are people and not things, and I’ve had my priorities screwed up this entire time.

Tell you what, alcohol is a hell of a drug! And your brain is a bloody justification machine! Combine the two and nothing good comes from it!

I’ve been less-than-reliable recently, accounting to this and other factors I’m not willing to commit to writing down for public consumption. Many of you know my struggles because you’re not jerks, and for that I thank you.

I’ve always been about an idea I call “radical transparency,” meaning that people should be honest even if it hurts them or others. Some people are going to judge me for what I’m about to write, other people will relate, still others will think it something close to admirable. So here goes. I’ve been in recovery from alcohol addiction since late 2019.

In the beginning I thought I could do it by myself. Then I thought having a therapist and a psychiatrist and taking my medication would cure my addiction. Then I relapsed over and over again. I’ve had to take increasingly drastic measures to stop alcohol from ruining my life.

The most recent things I’ve done to combat my addiction to alcohol are:

• I went to the ER and checked myself into detox
• I went from the detox clinic to a sober living house where they breathalyzer and UA me constantly. The labs are hardcore, and, if I so much as have a poppy seed bagel THEY WILL KNOW
• I’m involved with AA, looking for a sponsor, and am committed to working the steps even though they seem silly to me sometimes
• I started skateboarding again once or twice a week at an indoor skate park run by Christians. They run a church service every Tuesday at 7PM, and I make it a point to show up for that weekly
• I started going to church with one of my new housemates

So that’s where I’m at. I didn’t ask to be an alcoholic. Some people are just built different. The vast majority of the people I know who drink, even to excess, are not alcoholics. For me it’s an addiction, an illness, my kryptonite, and I cannot have so much as one drink for the rest of my life without getting thrown back into the hell of addiction. My addiction is a hell of a lot bigger than me. I’ve drank more in 37 years than most of the people reading this will drink in their entire lives. If you insist I have a drink with you I’m apt to get extremely offended, and I’m not the type who gets offended easily.

As for the jerks, I’ve never been particularly good at running a business. I’ve never wanted to run a business. I’ve never considered myself an entrepreneur. I’m just a dude trying to leverage my skills more effectively, trying to get more out of the time I put into things.

Yep, alcohol is a hell of a drug. I’ve always wanted to run a business. I used to call myself an entrepreneur, but I’m more into the lifestyle than making a billion+ out of so many millions’ worth of VC money. One day I’d like to have employees. I want to see this business of mine grow into something way cooler than what it’s been over the next 5 years.

I think businesses are interesting. I also think murderers are interesting, sometimes for the same reasons. Getting something as pure as motorcycles mixed up with the cold calculations of running a business full time was a mistake on my part.

Someone once told me “There are easier ways of making money than working on motorcycles, so you have to be passionate about it, you have to really want it.”

I was, and I did, but after five years I’m not, so I’m only going to be doing this 1-2 days a week going forward while I work on other projects and find a “real job.” In the meantime I’m going to work on myself and see where that goes.

Lies and bullshit. I got my business mixed up with a hardcore substance abuse problem, and that warped my brain in so many ways. I actually started to think I didn’t like motorcycles, which is crazy. If there’s one thing I’ve always loved it’s go-fast stuff like motorcycles, fast cars, fast boats, airplanes and rockets, skateboards, winter sports, marksmanship, fast blondes and all manner of other insanity. Drugs and alcohol USED TO BE A HUGE PART OF THAT, but it’s not anymore, and it won’t be ever again if I can help it.

I tried working for a friend at his shop for a week and between different philosophies about business and working on bikes, ultimately decided I couldn’t continue on with him. I grew some courage and started returning all the calls I’ve received in the past few months. Booked some appointments and fixed some bikes, which is the name of the game! I’m back at it 24/7 and EXTREMELY AVAILABLE from here on out.

If you still want to schedule an appointment, book online and I’ll call you to see if your project is something I want to work on.

Book online or hit me up at (720) 634-6935 or (719) 425-5515. Availability is wide open as of this second, subject to change as the weather warms.

If I owe you something, I’ll be in touch soon enough. 

I’ve already been in touch with many of the people I owe stuff, be it work or parts, and they’ve been more understanding than I ever could have hoped they would be. So thanks to them! On that note, I owe all of you – my customers, my friends, my family, myself – my sobriety for the rest of my life. Some of y’all have seen me at my worst, and Lord knows it wasn’t pretty at all. Thanks for putting up with me. It means more than you’ll ever know.

I’m going to commit to updating this site once a week at least. I’ll be talking about scoots, motos, business, life, and sobriety. I’ll be counting the days.

Today is Day 28 sober. I couldn’t be more stoked.